Redesign your relationship

When someone starts digging at the bottom of "relationships" and doing some research on how we have chosen to live in terms of love and romance, they will soon come across some prejudices that no one would dare to question. Generation after generation has been fed with the so-called truth and the way we should live our love life.

When our grandparents were little kids, they were told that there is only one true type of relationship you are allowed to have and that is the monogamous heterosexual marriage that is supposed to last a lifetime. That is "normal" and anything that deviates from that is immoral, dysfunctional, and sick. Fortunately, we have evolved a little bit, but not enough.

Women should marry and have children and if they choose not to marry, not to have children and instead pursue a great career, they are seen as unfulfilled and pathetic. I know quite a bit about women in this position and it happens that they are very happy with their decision and therefore their independence and freedom.

Between the things we should be doing and our desire to do what we feel like doing, there are many thoughts that surface, and we finally begin to question what we have been told. What if this is not true?

What should I believe: the things I've been told or follow my own instinct? Many people seem to instinctively feel that there is something wrong with that picture while others decide to stay in toxic relationships. There are only a few marriages that last and where people seem to be truly happy with each other. Everyone else gets divorced or worse, they continue to live together and make each other miserable, only to be able to say after 40+ years of marriage that they have "resisted". Do we want to resist? For what? For the sake of the children? If you think so, then you might want to read some new research on the matter and find out that toxic marriages are way more traumatizing than conscious uncoupling. But I’ll get back on this on another article.

I must admit that the topic made me very curious, so I started researching with an open mind and an open heart. What I found out is that in a world where there are firms that would help us be unfaithful to our wife / husband if we wanted to, there is a corner where other people are extremely open and honest about love. Instead of "Rezisting" or cheating on each other, they have chosen to let go and redesign their relationship. A kind of relationship that is based on honesty, respect, and freedom. They are in a relationship because they want to, not because they have to, and this fills their lives with an inner peace and happiness that other people can only dream of. These relationships can be open, monogamous or consensual non-monogamous. They might live together, or they might say that fire needs air and live separate. Everything is possible if you know what kind of relationship you want to have and you refuse to let your love life be dictated by the rules of some people who died hundreds of years ago.